Kick Me While I’m Down

by Amanda

Traffic blurs beneath fat tears,

Wind whistles through cropped hair.

Memories devour, reminding me why I’m up here.

The pain never came from your fists,

Merely from your words, meant to prick

My heart until it bled into the rest of me.

You like to remind me of how much of a failure I am.

I disappoint you, and not without effort on my part

To do everything possible not to disappoint.

It’s never good enough.

I’ll never be good enough.

Not for you or anyone, and you like to make that clear as crystal.

The leap is terrifying, but not as terrifying as the thought

Of coming home to words I don’t have the strength to hear.